Rohan was scared, he was peeping from the door. What was that thing he was afraid of? His parents were shouting at each other, they were arguing and fighting. But while fighting they didn’t care about little Rohan who was 6 years old. For them, it was more important to prove that who is right and who is wrong. And this wasn’t the first time it was happening. It was almost every day’s story. Such fights affect badly the innocent mind of little children.
We always think even though we fight it doesn’t affect babies and toddlers as they are too small to understand. And they won’t even remember this fight tomorrow. If your fights include a lot of harsh words, shouting’s or aggression then it may bring stress in children’s too which then results in the development of the kid like sleeping problems or learning toilet uses and all. If the fight continues then children develop communication problems, social relationship problems. As a parent, you need to keep in mind that your motto is not just to teach your child about basic hygiene but you are developing and nourishing him to live in a society where he needs to face all kinds of social relationships. He should be able to express his feelings instead of having a fear in mind even to talk. When a child sees how easily their parents solved the conflicts then it boosts his confidence too.
What to do when the argument is unavoidable:
Try to keep yourself cool :
When the arguments create heat in the room then one of the partners has to keep his or her head cool. It’s not that if you step back means the other partner won but keeping cool is a great way to end the fight. Later you can continue this in the absence of your child.
Keep the respect :
While arguing you need to keep the respect of another person. You have to make sure you won’t use any such words which can hurt your partner.
- Maintain the tone and language :
This has been noticed a lot of times that when a couple goes into arguments they tend to lose the voice tone and language especially wives. In the great amount of anger, she tends to use such words that can hurt the male ego.
- Try to find the solution :
Any arguments can go for hours and hours but instead of just arguing try to find the solution. Find such a solution on which both can be easily and mutually agree then just making yourself on top.
- Make your child understand :
If by any chance your child is present at the time of argument then try to make him understand that mom and dad are not fighting but trying to find the solution for a particular situation.
- Child should not be the cause :
Whenever the fights start, make sure the child should not be the cause of the same. It happenings a lot of times that child thinks the parents are fighting coz of him and he takes the blame game which can hurt him deeply. Like if parents are making decisions about a child’s schooling or any major celebration at home these simple things can also raise any arguments.
- Don’t ignore your child :
Arguing and losing a temper is a very common thing but while doing keep one eye on your child too. Your child may get scared or stressed because of your arguments. The moments you notice that stop your arguments. Be with your child and try to divert his mind so he will forget what just happened.
- Follow the advice of senior citizens :
In a lot of Indian houses, we see the senior citizens are always trying to warn us the moment we start the fight. At such times instead of ignoring them try to understand what are they saying as they have great experience about rising a kid and they know the consequences very well.
Parent’s fights can affect child in different ways:
- It effects on their academics :
Children’s can’t concentrate on studies due to their stress caused by the fights at home. Which can effect of their academics and they can do poor in the exams.
- It effects on their Social relationships:
If you see a kid who prefers to be alone is mostly going through some emotional trauma at home. These fights at home make them emotionally unstable and they can’t jell easily with others which makes them alone in society.
- It develops inferiority complex :
All time fights and loud arguments can make a kid inferior about himself and an inferiority complex can be generated into such kids.
- It creates horror in their mind :
The fights can be highly dangerous for the child as it may create horror in their delicate mind and they can develop fear about their daily routine like getting scared of the dark, can’t go alone in the washroom, and have bad dreams, and so on.
- It can make kid negative :
Kids who faced a lot of in-house fights or seen such arguments all the time at home may turn negative and for them the full world becomes negative. They don’t enjoy anything around them but stay sad all the time.
- It may develop a monster into them :
When kids face these fights and sometimes even try to stop them at such a point’s lot of parents simply ignore the kids and keep arguing. This leaves a feeling of non-acceptance in the family and the kid starts feeling that nobody really cares for him and his parents are really cruel to him. Such situations may raise the kids with a bad aura around them and when they grow up they might become those people who like to give pain to others and enjoy such pain.
It’s natural that you can’t avoid the fights all the time in front of your kids but you should try to keep cool and try to avoid it as much as you can. You have to understand that your child is an innocent personality who has a delicate heart and mind. If you can’t find the solution for your fights then go to the counseling center but avoid the fights at home.